I was somewhat apprehensive about leaving my Connecticut roost to spend Thanksgiving in Texas. Therefore, I am pleased to report that I thoroughly enjoyed myself despite the unusual surroundings. In fact, I didn’t even need my ear-piece as the decibel level of 10 kids running around having fun was more than adequate for my diminished hearing. Watching kids have a great time is far more important than understanding what they have to say. The same could probably be said for adults.
Granted, I was not served my customary lapsang souchong tea at 4 p.m., but by then my Texas relatives were already well into cocktails and wine – a delightful Texas tradition that begins shortly after breakfast. Texans are convinced that a touch of moonshine is far better than prescription medication now “freely” available to the uninsured under ObamaCare. For those who have lost their insurance policies under Big Brother’s comprehensive health coverage, this probably comes as a welcome relief.
Contrary to the widespread propaganda found in the liberal media, Texans can read. At least they read Gourmay, which is an indication of a well-educated palate but probably not much more. I was surprised to find that we were served an organic turkey that had been properly brined using Gourmay’s dry-rub brine. In fact, my “good” relatives had mobilized themselves to serve Turkey Soup ala Thérèse with two cups of barley. For that, I am most appreciative. Kudos to all those who contributed to making this Thanksgiving so memorable and, in particular to “Taleggio” Langston and Mere “the Bear” for allowing their delightful home on the banks of the San Bernard River to be trashed by relatives. Also, a special thanks to Sommelier “Bogey” Pinson for his great wine pairings and the smoked ham for those who were not up to eating Big Bird.
As the late great news commentator Paul Harvey (heard above in a memorable tribute to farmers) would say: “And now, page 2”.
PAGE 2 – the Real Story
“Pit Bull” Broderick always has Chinese carryout before Thanksgiving. Mind you, I think this is a nouveau “Queens” (New York) tradition which emerged after the Irish mob was forced to leave because they couldn’t afford real estate prices near Manhattan and were replaced by the Chinese Triads. (Editor’s Note: Pit Bull, a fringe member of the Irish mob, was allowed to retain his Queen’s citizenship in recognition of the number of “American” jobs he has outsourced to the Philippines.) As we soon discovered, the Texans have their own international culinary traditions for the Day After Thanksgiving:
- German Donuts,
- Czech and Slovak Kolache’s and,
- Mexican tamales.
While those that had been over-served the previous evening were sleeping, some of the men folk and Thérèse decided to “rustle up some grub” for breakfast. (Editor’s note: “Rustle up some grub” is Texas talk when real men actually went out and shot a rabbit or rattlesnake for breakfast. Today – like most Americans – Texans go to McDonald’s and Dunkin Donut for breakfast but usually leave their fully loaded AR-15s with a high-capacity magazine in the truck.) Fortunately, our Gourmet Cowboys shop differently since there are few fast-food chains in Brazoria, TX. “Rag Arm” Colby suggested D&S Donuts which he claims are “the best donuts in the United States.” At the low price of $5.50 per dozen he just might be right. They also serve a pretty mean Kolache, which is basically a Polish sausage served in a sweet yeast bread. For just $1.09, the Kolache with cheese and jalapenos was impossible to resist. It was delicious and served as a most useful appetizer before we mosied over to nearby Mary’s Mexican Cafe for a serious breakfast.
Now, I will spare Gourmay readers with the gruesome details of the number of chorizo and egg and carne guisada tacos that were consumed, but I did insist that we take home a dozen tamales that were still warm. Now Mary’s Mexican Cafe is only open from 5 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. so you better get there early if you want to enjoy some truly authentic Mexican cooking. My burrito was delicious, but the dozen tamales were consumed well before most of the sleeping beauties had discovered the D&S chocolate and glazed donuts (60 plus a few extras for those with a severe sugar craving). I think that there was consensus among connoisseurs of Mexican cooking that these were among the best tamales (pork) that any of us had ever eaten. In fact, I could kick myself for not buying another dozen or so before leaving the next day. Nevertheless, I didn’t feel like sharing them with the TSA agents as we checked in through security at the Houston airport.
All-in-all a great Thanksgiving was had by all and plans are afoot to hold a similar uprising in Charleston, SC in a couple of years. Three cheers for the Turners: Belch, belch, belch!!! (Editor’s Note: A belch is a Chinese way of saying that we enjoyed the food and the company.)